A Modern Woman's Guide to Power
Getting Your Needs Met
Learning to get your needs met is an important skill (and art!) that many women, unfortunately, do not prioritize. We often focus on the millions of things that we need to get done (be it the laundry, a project at work, picking up the kids, organizing the home…) leaving little to no time to focus on ourselves.
In Taking Time for Yourself we share some tips for self-care. Getting your needs met is such an important topic that it warrants its own page. As such, we have included some strategies to help you ensure that your needs are met moving forward. How can we be better at getting our needs met?
First, know what you need. Make a log in a journal or your phone’s notepad highlighting where you gain and lose energy. Prioritize which ones are the most pressing and would have the greatest positive affect if you addressed them first and which ones are minor and can wait until a later date.
“It is necessary to do a systems analysis of your life. Look at where you gain power and where you lose power.” Rama, Frederick Lenz.
Make a commitment to yourself that you will prioritize getting your needs met. Is what you need something that you can take care of yourself? (e.g. Buying a safe car to drive to and from work) Or is the need something that is being taken away or withheld by another person (e.g. a noisy roommate during the times you wish to meditate)? Whichever it is, commit today to take action to meet that need.
“There is no fanaticism in any of this. There is intensity. You have to make it happen. You have to put your will into perfecting your daily life.” -Rama, Frederick Lenz
Make a plan. What is required for you to meet the identified need? Brainstorm in your journal, notepad or computer with dates and actionable steps to get you there. If it’s a need that involves another person, make sure to involve them early in the process by scheduling time that works for both of you to address the identified need.
“Be fair. Don’t present your version of the truth to others. Lose your ulterior motives! Be accurate and pure in your presentation of the way, and you will become the way.” -Rama, Frederick Lenz
Take action! Thinking about a need or talking about it won’t make it to reality. Take action and track whether your plan is bringing to fruition the results that you were looking for (or better!)
“Yoga means we accept responsibility for the tasks in our life. Take responsibility for your life and make it into something beautiful in the midst of changing circumstances.” -Rama, Frederick Lenz
Reiterate until you get the desired results: If the need is not met in the way it was expected, review alone (or with any involved parties) together to learn from that experience, brainstorm what to change, and take action again. Track your progress. It may take a few tries to get it right in a way that takes everyone’s needs in consideration so don’t lose hope and keep trying – the results will be well worth it in the end.
“It takes many years to become proficient in energy conservation. But it is something that happens. You get continually stronger. You see your attention field is far different than it ever was before.” -Rama, Frederick Lenz
For examples of ways to communicate a given need, check out our page on Setting Boundaries.